Good news, job hunters: the Conservatives have a plan, and it comes with a countdown timer.

For the first six months on Universal Credit, you'd get the full payment. Think of it as a free trial, except nobody has to remember to cancel.

Then month seven arrives and the payment drops by 30%. For a couple over 25, that's around £200 a month, about the price of a decent weekly shop and a very optimistic attempt at a social life. The cut applies if you haven't paid enough into the system beforehand. The party says every two years worked earns you an extra year on the full rate.

There's a catch on the spending side too. The money would land on a pre-paid card that says no to cigarettes, alcohol, gambling and cash withdrawals. It's the world's strictest shopping trolley: you'll be able to buy beans, but nobody will let you buy a pint to celebrate.

The Tories say it's about nudging people back into work and trimming the welfare bill. Labour calls the card scheme "unworkable". Whichever side you're on, you'll want to see how it holds up before it goes anywhere near the statute book.